Wednesday, January 3, 2018

01032018

maybe i've invested too much in the dogma of choice; maybe i'll put more stock in fate

'you are what you eat' must have a scholastic corollary that i learned somewhere along the line. 'production = product of consumption'. the substance of what i engage with determines the substance of what my mind then produces. there is no unique thought, only reassembly, derivation, regurgitation.

ideally i would be compelled to engage with as much as possible because engagement --> substance --> richness of thought/comprehension. connections build as strands meet one another and a web of understanding forms.

i have yet to understand why my first impression of the thing attracts me to or repels me from it. the sum of me is the sum of what i have engaged with and so i made the tacit decision to consume only that which occasions the most intense feeling viz. dopamine rush. porn, pop music, the artificial and the mindless --> these are what i seek and what continue to be my metric of 'quality'. i can zone out and yet still feel intense pleasure. that which i most engage with is that which asks for the least intellectual engagement from me.

i pigeonholed myself into foreign pop music. i stopped watching narrative media--tv, movies. the surface is the substance, thus the actual substance underneath the surface is irrelevant.

who am i now but a husk?

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